Some question-and-answers from Sam Lipsyte’s “The Eyeshot Literary Escort Service” profile:
If you could fuck a book, which book, and why, and in which position?
I’d fuck Klaus Kinski’s autobiography All I Need Is Love, which accomodates all positions.
Have you ever entertained sexual fantasies about a literary character? If so, please describe your date.
Robert Jordan (For Whom the Bell Tolls) and I fight the forces of fascism in Spain. Later we fuck in a cave. Queequeg wanders in and does unmentionable things with his harpoon. Ulrich’s sister in The Man Without Qualities and Daisy Buchanan join in. It’s not really a date, but it’s something very exciting.
When you try to pick someone up at a reading, what’s your favorite literary euphemism (i.e., you wanna come over and anna my karenina?)
Would you like to Primo my Levi? I guess I don’t know any literary euphemisms. I guess I don’t cruise readings, either. Don my DeLillo? At least there’s a legitimate verb there.
(from I’ve Got A Gusset, from whom I’m now pilfering serious links)
As far as literary pick-up lines go, I’m partial to: “Care to come back to my room for a little Dickens?” (All credit due to the writers on Letterman)
Comment by Rake — 2/9/2005 @ 7:10 pm
But Carrie you missed the best part: The Lipsyte Looooooove Calculator!
http://www.eyeshot.net/lipsytelove.html
Comment by Sarah — 2/9/2005 @ 8:17 pm
Ooh, the Looooooooooooove Calculator’s awesome. I have 22% compatibility as CAAF; 49 as Carrie Frye; and 45 as Carrie A.A. Frye.
Comment by CAAF — 2/9/2005 @ 9:57 pm
Hmmm… a scant 35 % for Gwenda Bond and only 40 percent for Bondgirl.
Comment by gwenda — 2/10/2005 @ 11:58 am
Um, 50% as Bookninja, 78% as George Murray, and 94.5% as George Gordon Murray. Who’s hot tonight, baby?
Comment by George — 2/10/2005 @ 3:39 pm
Why, George Gordon Murray … I believe you’ve made a Love Connection!!
Comment by CAAF — 2/10/2005 @ 4:01 pm
By the way, Sam Lipsyte + Sam Lipsyte = 49%. Can SL, divided against himself, stand?
Comment by Rake — 2/10/2005 @ 5:13 pm
This is getting dangerous….
Lothar of the hill people = 92%
Comment by Tito — 2/10/2005 @ 5:25 pm
Judging from his answers to the questionaire above, I would think Sam Lipsyte would be highly compatible with Lothar of the hill people.
Rake, it joins the great philosophical questions: how many Sam Lipsytes can dance on the head of a pin … if a Sam Lipsyte falls in the forest and Lothar of the hill people falls on top of him but no one hears, did …
Comment by CAAF — 2/10/2005 @ 6:10 pm
p.s. I just want to self-consciously point out how perilously close that last entry comes to spawning Sam Lipsyte fanfic as a genre.
Comment by CAAF — 2/10/2005 @ 6:11 pm
I put in numerous variations of my name, with/without middle initial and name, etc. The best percentage I could score was 77.5% when I put TEV Guest Host. Straight up Dan Wickett scored me a “not rockin’ it” 29%.
Enjoy,
Comment by Dan Wickett — 2/12/2005 @ 4:10 pm
Shouldn’t a writer know that accommodates has two m’s?
Comment by Raven — 2/24/2005 @ 11:01 am