Tingle Alley

You write, “It’s like I keep figuring this shit out, and then forgetting it immediately.” That’s not your strange little personal problem. That’s not what makes you uniquely fucked. That’s a universal truth, a fundamental dimension of the human condition. You know who feels that way? You, me and everyone we know. Fucking OPRAH feels that way, or she’d have fallen asleep while interviewing Deepak Chopra a long, long time ago.

— From an ‘Ask Polly' a couple weeks back that I keep thinking about because a. it's true and b. enjoyment of imagining Oprah zonking out across from Deepak.

allcreatures:


This female octopus spent four and one-half years brooding her eggs on a ledge near the bottom of Monterey Canyon, about 1,400 meters (4,600 feet) below the ocean surface. This photograph was taken in Fall 2007, about seven months after she laid her eggs. (click link at end for full story)



This photograph, taken in October 2011, shows the empty egg cases of an octopus that brooded her eggs for four and one half years in Monterey Canyon. Because the young octopus in these eggs had so long to develop, they were able to swim and hunt soon after hatching, which increased their odds of survival. Photo: Courtesy Monterey Bay Aquarium



This photograph shows the same female octopus as in the previous photos as she appeared in September 2011, just before her eggs hatched. Photo: Courtesy Monterey Bay Aquariam

Photos: Courtesy Monterey Bay Aquariam R (via Octopus mom’s incredible record: 53 months with eggs in Monterey Bay - SFGate)

allcreatures:

This female octopus spent four and one-half years brooding her eggs on a ledge near the bottom of Monterey Canyon, about 1,400 meters (4,600 feet) below the ocean surface. This photograph was taken in Fall 2007, about seven months after she laid her eggs. (click link at end for full story)

This photograph, taken in October 2011, shows the empty egg cases of an octopus that brooded her eggs for four and one half years in Monterey Canyon.

This photograph, taken in October 2011, shows the empty egg cases of an octopus that brooded her eggs for four and one half years in Monterey Canyon. Because the young octopus in these eggs had so long to develop, they were able to swim and hunt soon after hatching, which increased their odds of survival. Photo: Courtesy Monterey Bay Aquarium

This photograph shows the same female octopus as in the previous photos as she appeared in September 2011, just before her eggs hatched. Photo: Courtesy Monterey Bay Aquariam

This photograph shows the same female octopus as in the previous photos as she appeared in September 2011, just before her eggs hatched. Photo: Courtesy Monterey Bay Aquariam

Photos: Courtesy Monterey Bay Aquariam R (via Octopus mom’s incredible record: 53 months with eggs in Monterey Bay - SFGate)

Source: sfgate.com

It was published in 1996, so it’s not in the unlocked part of the archives*, but I think about this New Yorker essay by Joanna Greenfield about when she was attacked by a hyena all the time. THAT PHOTO, TOO.

(* Although I just reread it without having to log in, so who knows! Try your luck.)

From a note from one of my cousins, who’s home for the summer: “I’ve enjoyed going over to your mom’s and playing bridge with the three sisters lately. They are so kind and gentle, yet when they start playing bridge, they turn fierce and are quick to scold for sloppy play. Wild nights in Auburn, Indiana.”

(It’s like a fairy tale except instead of three Fates or three Furies or a Mrs. Whatsis, Mrs. Who, and a Mrs. Which, there are Three Very Particular Bridge Players.)

"

But what all these issues, no matter how gigantically separated an Esquire puff piece and a Tennessee mother’s jailing for meth may seem, reflect back at us: How, in this country, every barometer by which female worth is measured—from the superficial to the life-altering, the appreciative to the punitive—has long been calibrated to “dude,” whether or not those measurements are actually being taken by dudes. Men still run, or at bare minimum have shaped and codified the attitudes of, the churches, the courts, the universities, the police departments, the corporations that so freely determine women’s worth. As Beyoncé observed last year, “Money gives men power to run the show. It gives men the power to define value. They define what’s sexy. And men define what’s feminine. It’s ridiculous.”

It is ridiculous, and I wish we could all tell them how little it matters what they think. Except that of course most women, those who bear the brunt of these assessments, aren’t Beyoncé or Amy Poehler—who, not coincidentally, was on Junod’s list of newly un-tragic 42-year-olds. Instead, they are women who may not be able to pay for Pilates, let alone for day care or contraceptives, who may need but not be able to afford drug treatment, who Esquire would likely still rate as not-hot or more likely not rate at all, but whose fates nonetheless rest in the hands of empowered committees on the general value and status of womanhood in America.

I wish it were different. I wish that every woman whose actions and worth are parsed and restricted, congratulated and condemned in this country might just once get to wheel around—on the committee that doesn’t believe their medically corroborated story of assault, or on the protesters who tell them that termination is a sin they will regret, or on the boss who tells them he doesn’t believe in their sexual choices, or on the mid-fifties man who congratulates them, or himself, on finding them appealing deep into their dotage—and go black in the eyes and say, “I don’t fucking care if you like it.”

"

The Problem with Esquire’s Praise of 42-Year-Old Women & Amy Poehler | New Republic (via rachelfershleiser)

(via rachelfershleiser)

Source: newrepublic.com

livelymorgue:

May 12, 1958: A contact sheet from a photo shoot at the Bronx Zoo for which an emperor penguin named Jill was the star, occasioning the addition of two duck-billed platypuses, which called “attention to the many other outstanding specimens” at the zoo. “The emperors are hand-fed — five pounds of mackerel a day,” her keeper, Chappie Solanto, told the Times magazine. “The public thinks they look like old men. And people are surprised at their fatness and that they don’t go into the water like other penguins here.” Photo: Sam Falk/The New York Times

(via titivil)

Source: livelymorgue